When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.

Q: how many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: none, that's a hardware problem

Q: How many prolog programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Yes.

Q: how many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: none, they just make darkness a standard and tell everyone "this behavior is by design"

Q: How many Intel hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 1.0000000000001736442

Q: How many IT Support people does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Have you tried turning it Off and On?

If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs.

Q: "Whats the object-oriented way to become wealthy?"
A: Inheritance

["hip","hip"]
(hip hip array!)

To understand what recursion is, you must first understand recursion.

There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who dont.

There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who have regular sex.

Why programmers like UNIX:
unzip, strip, touch, finger, grep, mount, fsck, more, yes, fsck, fsck, fsck, umount, sleep

Keyboard not found ... press F1 to continue

If Java is the answer, it must have been a really verbose question.

Hardware: The part of a computer that you can kick.

The programmer got stuck in the shower because the instructions on the shampoo bottle said, Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

In C we had to code our own bugs. In C++ we can inherit them.

Q: How come there is not obfuscated Perl contest?
A: Because everyone would win.

Documentation is like sex. When it's good, it's very good. When it's bad, it's better than nothing.

It's been said that if you play a windows CD backwards, you'll hear satanic chanting...worse still if you play it forwards, it installs windows.

Computers are high-speed idiots, programmed by low-speed idiots.

Programmers are machines that turn coffee into code.

The shortest programmer joke: "I'm nearly done!"

JIT Happens! :)

I � Unicode.

The new (insert current fast processor, but when I heard it, the value was "cray") is so fast, it can execute an infinite loop in only 3 seconds.

Rome wasn't built in O(1).

Heisenberg gets pulled over by the police. The officer asks, “Do you know how fast you were going?” Heisenberg answers, “No, but I know exactly where I am!”

WYSIWYMGIYRRLAAGW: What You See Is What You Might Get If You’re Really Really Lucky And All Goes Well.

Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen.

I'm not bald, I just have "margin-top: 200px;"




Sources :

  • http://stackoverflow.com/questions/234075/what-is-your-best-programmer-joke